The Atheist Pig

From the producers of The American Bible Challenge comes the new series Teaching the Controversy. Each one hour episode features the Discovery Institute’s Rapid Response Team (D.I.R.R.T) swooping into a school in order to save the science program from godless evolution. Although the show doesn’t have any big Hollywood stars regularly appearing in it, Jeff Foxworthy is expected to makes special appearances and do his, You know you’re on Evil-utionist shtick.

The show’s first episode focuses on Stonewall High School in Calaveras, Arkansas. Principal Rutherford B. Turpitude sent a distress call to DIRRT relating that the impressionable minds of students were being corrupted by teachers who are preaching a theory like it was a God-given fact, “I don’t think we are doing right by our students by teaching mere speculation like the Theory of Evolution,” stated Principal Turpitude. “I need the DIRRT team to clean-up Stonewall.” Hidden cameras in the school show classrooms where good, Christian kids are taught that homo sapiens and other primates share a common ancestor. “I don’t like all this talk about homo anything,” stated DIRRT team leader Caleb Abel. The team also includes noted teleologist, Jacob King; David Israel, a well known voice in the irreducibly complex community; and Jeffrey Crank, author of Only God Could Tune Our Universe So Finely.

The principal unlocks the doors to the team on Saturday morning and the fun begins as biology books are burned and replaced with faith-based literature like Of Pandas And People. “We like adding special touches that will help Jesus touch the lives of students,” stated Jeffrey Crank, “like tearing out pages in history books that talk about the Klan as if they’re a bunch of criminals.” The camera team is there on Monday morning to show how excited the students are when they learn that they will no longer need to know facts and simply answer their teachers with Goddidit.

Hopes run high with studio executives for this program. Future faith-based television shows in development include Respect My Faith, Do What I Say! and something for the growing Muslim-American demographic Allah’s Rules For Girls.

*Yes, this is a Poe, but you already knew that.

**You can follow me on Twitter @LaughPurgatory

  From the producers of The American Bible Challenge comes the new series Teaching the Controversy. Each one hour episode features the Discovery Institute’s Rapid Response Team (D.I.R.R.T) swooping into...