Saudi Arabian doctors have stunned the world by saying that they have successfully taken the uteruses from women and placed them into men. So far 72 procedures have been completed, and 32 healthy babies delivered.
“We decided to go public at this time because we have the operation down pat. Another factor is that we simply got sick and tired of hearing the Swedes bragging on how they were able to transplant a uterus between women,” stated Dr Ahmed al-Kannard, a prominent member of the research team.
The experimental program, Man, Mohammed and Maternity (MMM), has been kept under wraps from prying eyes for years. The facility was nestled underground in the desert city of Buraydah. The reasons for secrecy were strictly due to concerns that the technology and know-how would be stolen. Dr al-Kannard stated that many governments and international institutions would love to get their hands on MMM’s research. “Man, Mohammed and Maternity is our Manhattan Project, and no one was going to pilfer it from us,” he said. Even with all the secrecy several Jesuit secret agents were caught snooping around the city. Anonymous sources deep in the Vatican report that the Church has been searching for a way to compensate for the lack of men joining the priesthood for quite some time. It appears that the Pope will have to pay just like everyone else to learn the secrets held by MMM.
The procedure was created in response to the liberalization of the kingdom. Many Saudi women wish to work outside the home. The Saudi Industrial Property Authority (MODON) is in the process of creating cities dedicated to important industries where women can freely work. When women go into these cities to enjoy their careers, they will be handing over their uteruses to deserving men who will bear children.
Fundamentalist Muslims are applauding the new scheme. A vast majority see transplanting uteruses into men as the way of maintaining conservative values. While anti-Islamic women are happily working away in the special cities, traditional family structures will be intact. There will be some tweaks to the system, however. Within the home, the man-mommies will need to be covered at all times in order that the children do not know what gender their mothers truly are. Luckily, the hormones required by the operation will cause male voices to acquire a distinct feminine pitch. Of course, mothers who are actually women will also be covered by the burqa at all times. This will ensure both maternal genders are treated equally.
One of these mommies is a dude.
“This is a great day for Saudi Arabia,” stated Dr al-Kannard. “This is a great day for equal rights.”
*Yep, this is a Poe.
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