New Biblical Research Reveals the Demonic Nature of the Platypuson November 12, 2012 at 1:36 am
Petersburg, Kentucky The Creation Museum, owned and operated by Answers in Genesis (AiG), has announced a breakthrough in biblical research: Ornithorhynchus anatinus, otherwise known as the platypus, plays a prominent role in the Old and New Testaments. Up until now, the web footed, duck-billed mammal had only been assumed to be one of the animals loaded onto the Ark. However, new scholarship reveals that the ancient Hebrew word נחש, nahash had been mistranslated for centuries. Originally the word was thought to mean snake. The term actually means web-toed, venomous crawling animal. Professor Andrew Fabulist explained, “After years of studying papyrus fragments found in the Jezreel valley we have found that the ancient Jews feared the platypus. In fact, the book of Job needs to be altered due to the fact that the Leviathan was not a giant reptile but a mighty Ornithorhynchus anatinus. Here is how Job 41 verse 1 has traditionally been read Can you pull in Leviathan with a fishhook or tie down its tongue with a rope? Due to my research the verse is Can you pull in Leviathan by grabbing its broad, beaver-like tail or bind its hind leg which has a poisonous spur?”
Scientists at AiG are divided on how the range of the platypus became limited to eastern Australia and the island of Tasmania. One school of thought takes the conservative creationist line and states that after the Flood herds of the noble beast waddled and swam to the island continent ordered by divine mandate. Others scholars shrug their shoulders and say Goddidit.
The most alarming dimension of the story is how the egg-laying mammalian agent of Lucifer has totally infiltrated life in Australia. What was once considered to be a simple homage to an odd creature now has an air of the sinister emanating from it. Take the coin pictured to the right. Is it an image of a friendly native animal swimming to the bottom of a coastal river? Or is it a fiend taking naive souls to the depths of the Hell itself? AiG scientists were asked that same question and 109% answered the latter. (Note: math is not one of their strong points.)
Most alarmingly, Professor Fabulist stated, is that there appears to be underground cults dedicated to the monster. Zoos and wildlife sanctuaries are hotbeds of satanism where cultists congregate and perform dark rituals dedicated to semi aquatic beast. A team of investigators from AiG have infiltrated several of the cults and state that men and women regularly do the Devil’s work by giving so-called educational talks to the public about the animal and spread lies concerning how Ornithorhynchus anatinus evolved from an early branching of the mammalian tree. These cultists fool the naive by utilizing scientific “theory” and facts. This cabal is seeing fruits from its campaign of misinformation since 42% of Australians believe in a wholly natural version of evolution (i.e. an evolutionary process without guidance from God).
AiG is making an educational documentary explaining the dangers of the animal titled Day of the Platypus. The film is set in the not so far future where the beasts grow as large as buses and run rampant through the streets of Sydney. The film is currently in production and stars Kirk Cameron as the lone Christian voice on an island continent gone mad.
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