Muslims and Christians Unite Against the Perils of the Platypuson April 9, 2013 at 1:20 pm
The Muslim Movement for Understanding Diversity (MMUD) has joined forces with Christians Against Statistics (CAS) in combating the ever growing menace of Ornithorhynchus anatinus, otherwise known as the platypus. As reported earlier, biblical scholars had found overwhelming evidence that the web footed crawling beast was the original tempter of Eve and not the serpent. Academic scholars based in the online Muslim Movement for Understanding Diversity University (MMUD U) have joined their monotheistic-Trinitarian-polythiestic Christian researchers in decrying the monstrous evils of all platypuses.
“While the Holy Qur’an states that Satan and not a serpent brings about the expulsion of humanity from the Garden of Eden,” stated Adnan Oxtar, lead researcher at MMUD U,” there are accounts of talking animals. In one of the lesser known sayings of Mohammed, he stated, “While the gazelle and reptile spoke truly, this beaver tailed abomination is an abomination, and states that she requires verifiable evidence to believe in Allah.”
The two organizations recently met in Sydney, Australia to discuss how to manage the skeptical platypus and its pernicious effect on society. Seminars ranged from how to counter the expected migration of the animal out of Australia, into Asia and beyond, to how the faith-based communities should respond to the secular-fascist creature. The conference ended with a discussion on the suspected alliance between the platypus and its close relative, the echidna. The two animals are the world’s last monotremes (mammals who lay eggs), and such a pact between the beasts could lead to untold horrors. The last few minutes were dedicated to how the unholy alliance may adopt the tactics of Joseph Stalin, another famous atheist, and erect gulags for non-monotremes.
Afterwards, the major representatives from MMUD and CAS spoke to the press. The organizers trumpeted the meeting as a success.
“We have spent centuries fighting each other. At last we are united against the evils of secularism and unnatural egg laying mammals,” stated Andrew Kannard, spokesperson for CAS.
“Don’t forget we both hate gays, women, and evolution!” Adnan Oxtar piped in.
“That’s just a given,” M. Kannard replied.
Meanwhile platypuses everywhere are figuring out how to disguise their young to escape persecution.
*Yes, this is a Poe.
One of my recent memes.
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